{"id":2344,"date":"2016-05-07T13:32:54","date_gmt":"2016-05-07T13:32:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cookhappylivehealthy.org\/blog\/?p=2344"},"modified":"2016-05-07T13:32:54","modified_gmt":"2016-05-07T13:32:54","slug":"mealtime-transformation-reducing-stress","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cookhappylivehealthy.org\/blog\/mealtime-transformation-reducing-stress\/","title":{"rendered":"Mealtime Transformation: Reducing Stress"},"content":{"rendered":"

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5 Tips and Tricks + 1 Fundamental Mindshift<\/strong><\/h3>\n

This article is the third in our Mealtime Transformation series.\u00a0 We started a couple months ago with an invitation to tell us<\/a><\/span> how you’d like to see your mealtimes transformed.\u00a0 The answers to that survey were helpful and surprising as we reported last month<\/a><\/span>.\u00a0 Now we want to begin responding to some of the transformational hopes readers shared, beginning with Issue #1: Reducing Mealtime Stress.\u00a0 We hope that with some new perspectives, strategies, tips and skills, 2016 can be the beginning of your meal time transformation.<\/em><\/p>\n

Where Does Your Mealtime Stress Live?\u00a0 Time, Skills or Both?<\/b><\/h4>\n

I remember hosting many a family dinner over the years, for anywhere from 4 to 24 extended family members.\u00a0 I always envisioned they would be like the wonderful Italian family meals you see in the movies, with everyone relaxed, chatting and enjoying themselves.\u00a0 Instead, our family gatherings were hurried, hassled and highly stressful.\u00a0 You see, the men in my family have diabolical blood sugar issues.\u00a0 If dinner isn’t served by 5:30 p.m., their blood sugar plummets and they become grumpy, sullen monsters, ready to explode at the slightest provocation.\u00a0 This put me under tremendous pressure.\u00a0 As my creative outlet, cooking is something that flows for me,\u00a0 not at all beholden to any rigid schedule.\u00a0 So try as I may, I couldn’t get the meal on the table at exactly 5:30.\u00a0 So tempers and fuses inevitably sparked and exploded.<\/p>\n

While this is an extreme case of mealtime stress, I experienced lesser versions of it almost every day when my children were growing up.\u00a0 As athletes, they would arrive home famished and I could never get a meal on the table fast enough for them–and fast enough so there was time after dinner for all the homework, bill-paying, phone calls, dishes and all the other things we want to accomplish after work.<\/p>\n

Time Stress<\/strong>\u00a0 These examples came to mind as I started writing this post, because I wanted to examine what meal time stress looks like and where it resides.\u00a0 The assumption, I think, is that cooking itself is the culprit.\u00a0 But upon closer examination, I discovered my stress didn’t have to do with cooking per se.\u00a0 The acts of chopping and mixing and sauteing were actually quite soothing and stress relieving<\/i>!\u00a0 Instead, I realized, the root of my stress lay in the same place I think most stress lies:\u00a0 Having too much to do in the amount of time available to do it.<\/em><\/p>\n

Skills Stress<\/strong>\u00a0 While cooking itself was not a stress-inducer for me, it could well be the culprit for others, i.e., you face a critical task day in and day out but don’t have the skills and tools to do it capably and comfortably.\u00a0 That is certainly reasonable cause to feel stressed.<\/p>\n

Have you considered the location and dimensions of your mealtime stress?\u00a0 It’s a critical first step before we can begin chipping away at it.\u00a0 Let me know if your root causes are one of the two above or something different.\u00a0 For now, I’ll address just the time and skills deficits.<\/p>\n

Take the 2-Minute Mealtime Stress Survey<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Skills Deficit<\/b><\/h4>\n

Let’s take the easy one first.\u00a0 If you’re feeling stressed because you don’t have the ability to execute, the answer is simple:\u00a0 Acquire more skills!\u00a0\u00a0 There is no need for you to feel at a loss in the kitchen. Our online, Cook Happy | Live Healthy<\/a><\/span>\u00a0 mealtime transformation program shares just what you need to start getting healthy meals on the table confidently and comfortably.\u00a0 So go there now and begin building your repertoire of skills, tools, systems and strategies to make cooking entirely manageable.<\/p>\n

Time Deficit<\/b><\/h4>\n

Now for the harder issue:\u00a0 The stress caused by feeling that we don’t have enough time to do what’s demanded of us.<\/p>\n

Sadly, when an issue gets assigned to the “lack of time” category it’s the same as tossing it on the pile of unsolvable cases.\u00a0\u00a0 If you don’t have time, then you don’t have time, right?\u00a0 Common wisdom says there is no ambiguity, no room for exploration, no hidden possibilities when it comes to time.\u00a0 You either have it or you don’t.\u00a0 And if you don’t have time to make meals, then muddling a meal together so you don’t starve is going to be stressful and unpleasant.<\/p>\n

In this zero-sum game, you will never come out a winner.\u00a0 But we don’t want to come out losers in the healthy eating game.\u00a0 Surely there are some options?<\/p>\n

Over the years, I’ve been treated to a number of experiences that revealed how expansive is the territory between polar opposites like having time and having no time.\u00a0 In our culture, of course, that particular territory is well hidden.\u00a0 The success of our economy depends largely on an unquestioned belief that we exist in a no-time zone and the only way to survive is by purchasing some time-saving gadget or service.\u00a0 So of course we’ve been kept in the dark about the possibilities that actually exist.<\/p>\n

But I’ve discovered and want to share some of those possibilities that lie in that territory.\u00a0 First let me share 5 Tips and Tricks that can be implemented quickly and may be enough to relieve your meal time stress.\u00a0 But maybe you need a deeper solution, so I’ll also share 1 Fundamental Mindset Shift.<\/p>\n

5 Tips and Tricks to Relieve Mealtime Stress<\/b><\/h4>\n
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  1. Set Firm Expectation Boundarie<\/span>s\u00a0 This goes for you as well as everyone else at the dinner table.\u00a0 Do your best to accommodate everyone’s hunger needs, but clarify what you need in terms of meal making time and what behaviors are acceptable vs. out of bounds.\u00a0 Too often, I put myself in the servant role rather than the more appropriate role of facilitator for the communal activity of getting meals on the table.\u00a0 As for your own stress levels?\u00a0 Enjoy a civilized glass of wine while cooking!\u00a0 This tip comes courtesy of a class member who experienced a complete mealtime transformation with just this single trick!<\/li>\n
  2. Get some help!<\/span>\u00a0 Closely related to the previous tip, review the story of The Little Red Hen<\/em> with spouses and children.\u00a0\u00a0 Make sure they understand the moral of the story:\u00a0\u00a0 Instead of complaining, help!\u00a0 Sure child labor is illegal–but not in your own house!\u00a0 And surprisingly enough, kids are quite competent, which I learned from teaching kids as young as\u00a0 eight.\u00a0 They were often as or more competent than some adult students!\u00a0 Indeed children and young adults are a busy parent’s greatest un-mined resource.\u00a0 For your part, however, you must invest in a little training time and accept help that may not be up to your quality standards.\u00a0 Know, however, that enabling your kids to feed themselves healthfully is one of the most valuable gifts you can give them.<\/li>\n
  3. Veggies to the Rescue<\/span>\u00a0 Help everyone wait for dinner calmly (including you) with bags of pre-cut veggies and maybe a little dip (or a bowl of olives.)\u00a0 Besides keeping high-stress hunger pangs at bay, you increase vegetable intake without ruining appetites for the meal your preparing.<\/li>\n
  4. Mise en Place<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 This French phrase simply means putting everything in its place, i.e., before you start cooking, tick through your recipe a pull out each ingredient and piece of equipment you’ll need; arrange everything for organized and easy access.\u00a0 This can make cooking much less stressful as you don’t get flustered trying to find things in the heat of the moment, something that’s especially trying if your kitchen isn’t well-organized.<\/li>\n
  5. Leftover Magic<\/span>\u00a0 This is such a no-brainer.\u00a0 Spend 10 minutes more to double a skillet dish, but then you eat for free the next day–timewise, that is.\u00a0 What a way to eliminate the stress of making a meal!\u00a0 Remember this strategy doesn’t always require that you double a dish.\u00a0 You can instead just double some of the ingredients, e.g., roasted butternut squash that can go in a soup the next day, extra mashed potatoes that can top a pot pie the day after that, a big roast that can be crock potted and then shredded for a beef noodle bowl one night and tacos a couple nights later.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Now a lot of articles will stop with a few tips and tricks like the ones above.\u00a0 Sure, that’s what readers love, but all too often, tips and tricks alone may not really solve an issue.\u00a0 In this case, for instance, what if you:<\/p>\n