It’s Tough to See Solutions If You Don’t Really Want to Find Them

“I can’t make healthy meals.  I work the late shift and don’t get home from work until 6:30, so there’s no time to get a meal on the table.”

When it comes to healthy meal making, we all say things like this.  “I can’t eat healthy because . . . .”  We might say these kinds of things casually, but have you ever thought about the damaging effects they create?  In your mind, the simple phrase, “I can’t” translates to “I’ve already determined there is no way to work around my circumstances and still make healthy meals.”  In other words, “I can’t” statements foreclose any possibility of finding solutions.

Isn’t that kind of sad?  You’ve just blocked your way to ever achieve the goal of making and eating better meals–and the wonderful health that follows.

It doesn’t have to be this way.  In point of fact, getting home late (or whatever other barrier you face) does not mean you can’t make and eat better meals.  True, at 6:30 there isn’t time to make and bake a lasagna, but there are lots of options:

  • What if you baked a big casserole on Sunday and just reheated leftovers for dinner on Tuesday and Thursday?
  • There are plenty of ideas for 20-30 minute meals, which means you’re still eating by 7 or 7:15.
  • What about starting dinner in the morning–since a late shift means more morning minutes?
  • What about using some healthy convenience foods (see our class, How to Cook Healthy Meals . . . Without Really Cooking)
  • What about cooking up some “inventory” on the weekend that can be quickly transformed into weeknight meals, e.g., baked potatoes, spaghetti squash, steamed broccoli, a green salad base, a roasted chicken or slow-cooked roast?
  • Speaking of slow cookers, how about using yours for a meal that’s ready when you walk in the door?
  • What about easy and versatile eggs–like a scramble with frozen veggies and potatoes?

Over my many years of listening and brainstorming with home meal makers, I feel comfortable saying that 95% of common kitchen woes are solvable.  The key, however, is:

Do you really want to find solutions?

Does that sound crazy?!!  Of course you want to find solutions so you can make better meals, eat better meals and be healthier, right?!

Sometimes when I give a talk, I start with the question, “Who’s interested in making healthier meals?”  It’s not really a question at all because who is going to be the one person who answers, “No, I don’t care a fig about healthy eating.”

In fact, to date everyone has always said they want to eat better.  And I think they are absolutely sincere–on one level.

But there is a difference between saying you want something and really wanting something.

Saying you want something takes place on the intellectual level.  And while it can be said with absolute sincerity, rolling words off your tongue doesn’t necessarily require taking action or making a commitment.  The desire can just hang out comfortably in your brain without going anywhere.

On the other hand, when you really want something, things go much deeper than words.  If you really want something,

  • You’re willing to allow your life to shift to make way for it, even if it means letting go of some things so there is time and energy for a new way of being.
  • You’re willing to take responsibility for making something new happen, despite circumstances.
  • And you really want to find solutions and give them a try.

There’s a pertinent story in the Bible (but please don’t take this as any kind of religious excursion; the Bible can just be a good source of everyday wisdom.) Anyway, the Bible’s Book of John tells the story of a helplessly diseased man who always laid near a pool of water that periodically stirred and provided miraculous healings.  But because of his disabilities, our man couldn’t get into the water fast enough to take advantage of the stirring.  So he continued to languish by the side of the pool, year after year.

One day Jesus came along, saw the man, and asked him a surprising question:  “Do you want to be healed?”

I always thought that was a pretty dumb–not to mention rude–question. . . until I learned that Jesus was really asking if the man was ready to give up being sick and diseased.  Did he really want to surrender the comfort of having an excuse to cling to–even as painful and unpleasant as his illness was.  Was he really ready to be new and take responsibility to be a changed person?

I find myself thinking about that story whenever I face roadblocks and barriers.  Do I really want to find solutions?  Or do I really want to just hole up in the cozy comfort of a good excuse?

When it comes to something as beneficial as healthy eating, it’s reasonable to ask “Why?”  Why wouldn’t we really want to find the solutions to start making and eating better meals?  I’m guessing it’s probably for the same reasons any kind of change makes us squirm and try to squirrel away, e.g.,

  • Change is hard, scary, demanding and uncertain–even if it leads to some good benefits
  • Change takes time and energy, which are always in short supply
  • Making changes can feel like an admission that we’ve being stuck and/or doing something “wrong”
  • Making change requires us to step up our game and take on more personal responsibility

There are surely many other reasons why we might not really want to find–and actually squirrel away from finding–solutions to our healthy eating roadblocks and barriers.  Finding your reasons is a critical first step toward moving forward.

I feel certain that everyone in our reader community has a sincere desire to make and eat better meals.  It is only because I sincerely want you to be successful that I’m pointing out the potential landmine around finding solutions.  My mission lies in helping people devise solutions to their healthy eating barriers, and over 25 years you can imagine that I’ve developed a boatload of solutions!  In fact, as mentioned earlier, I feel pretty confident that 95% of roadblocks and barriers can be worked around.

But the solutions won’t be a bit of good if you don’t really want to find them.

If you’re struggling to have your healthy eating intentions take root, take a moment to question: Do you notice the words, “I can’t because . . . ,” cropping up in your thoughts and conversations? Be on guard for roadblocks and barriers that have become old friends–offering you comfortable cover from finding solutions and getting unstuck. If so, kick them off the couch and let’s start finding the solutions you need!

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